My mind tends to gather lots of unrelated information—most of it useless—and then come up with a bizarre kind of synthesis.
In this case, after weeks of punditry about how white people won't vote for a black man, how Obama might not be black enough for black people, how Obama is a secret Muslim, and on and on ad nauseam, I came up with a possible solution.
All he's got to do is put an apostrophe in his name and, voila! Obama becomes O'Bama. For white people, there's the possibility that he might be Irish (still not great in some white circles, but usually better than being black); for blacks he has a "slavemaster's" name, passed down to him from the time of slave ownership; and for Muslim haters, how the heck could a Mick be a Muslim?
It's so crazy, it could work.
Of course, there's the problem with people who haven't heard of him at all. But maybe, in some cases, that's okay.
Here's a transcription of part of an interview with rapper DMX from April 2008.
WARNING: PROFANITY TO FOLLOW (Well, duh, it's an interview with a rapper!):
Are you following the presidential race?
Not at all.
You’re not? You know there’s a black guy running, Barack Obama and then there’s Hillary Clinton.
His name is Barack?!
Barack Obama, yeah.
Barack?!
Barack.
What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?
Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.
Barack Obama?
Yeah.
What the fuck?! That ain’t no fuckin’ name, yo. That ain’t that nigga’s name. You can’t be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.
You’re telling me you haven’t heard about him before.
I ain’t really paying much attention.
I mean, it’s pretty big if a black …
Wow, Barack! The nigga’s name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his fuckin’ name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, “Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit. That ain’t your fuckin’ name. Your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack.”
So you’re not following the race. You can’t vote, right?
Nope.
